The Good For The Bad

It’s felt like I just couldn’t catch up for the past couple months. It was like I’d get a handle on things, only for something else to pop up. From finding a job for this Summer, to securing housing and a job for the Fall. It seemed like there was always some kind of uncertainty in my life and it was beginning to overwhelm me. But atlas, as promised, the Lord did and continues to provide. I noticed a recurring theme on the days leading to my flight back home. There is always something good to make up for the bad. That sounds super cliché, but it is what it is, and it’s been on my mind.

Week 6 and 7 for me, week 7 and 8 for everyone else, were absolutely miserable. I had a final paper one week, and a different final paper the next. Both of which I was having an unusual amount of anxiety over. I found myself staring at the screen, drawing blank on what to even write about. I think I spent more time doing this than actually writing the papers. One night was particularly bad, when we had friends over to study and I cried in my bedroom instead of spending time with my friends. I remember being so upset with myself for not being able to enjoy one of the last study nights of the year with them. But I was so stressed about my paper and was struggling to find any resources, that I was tearing up just thinking about it. I couldn’t sit in my living room and cry, nope. Anyway, it was a rough night. Yet somehow, I woke up, went to work on barely any sleep, and spent the rest of the day at Bucer’s. I kicked some serious butt on my paper that day. I’m still not sure where the words came from, but I did it. 

I went through a similar process the next week with my second paper. It wasn’t quite as bad because it was for my education class and I felt more comfortable in my element. Nevertheless, I stayed up til about 2 almost every night that week. I didn’t pack the apartment at all, just wrote. And wrote some more. I still had about 1,000 words on Friday, yet somehow forced myself to step away from it and enjoy an exploratory hike with Leaf and Charli that afternoon. Right after hiking, I babysat, then came home to all my favorite people in my apartment with none other than pancakes! I still thank God for enabling me to relax and enjoy this fellowship with my friends, despite an unfinished paper and an entire bedroom to pack. 

By Saturday at 3, I was ready to send the paper to my sister for a quick grammar check. Now I could finally start packing. But wait, everyone decided to do one last session of dancing at the park. I couldn’t miss out on that. Ah, it’s only been a week and I already miss dancing so much. Anyway, Hannah, Charli, and Christy also convinced me to go on a hiknic (hiking and picnic ;)) after dancing. We packed all the food we had left, took it to dancing, then headed for our hike. It was at Paradise Ridge, an area I’ve never hiked before (my only experience is Charli and I’s near-death experience in the Winter). Sure enough, it was beautiful. We got to the top and settled on an overlook that showed an almost 180 views of the Palouse. We ate our dinner picnic of odds and ends (kiwi skins, Juanita’s, mango, and lots of chocolate). We headed back a little before sunset and decided to drive to the overlook on top of the world to enjoy the beautiful fiery eventide. 

Afterwards I watched a movie with Handerson and ate ice cream and cookies. I spent all of Sunday and Monday packing, then all of Tuesday moving. Every time John and I arrived at the old place to reload the care, I found myself worrying that we would never get things done in time. Yet somehow, it all happened. We moved everything except a few pieces of furniture. I even managed to move my bed and completely unpack all my things. 

It wasn’t until we were 30 minutes from the Spokane Airport, early Wednesday morning, that I realized I never turned my paper in. My happy little bubble was popped. I woke Rachel and Hannah up with my screaming of profanity, followed by tears and some serious wheel smacking. Well, there was nothing to be done now. I calmed down by the time we made it to the airport. I quickly took three things out of my suit case because I thought it was overweight. It ended up weighing exactly 50 pounds. This is just another example of the little bitty good things over shining the bad. It felt like reassurance from God telling me to just chill the heck out. Anyway, I turned my paper in and sent my professor an email. She excused the late submission and accepted the paper without penalty. All I can say is praise the Lord, for He is so merciful and good. So good. 

Anywho, this post feels kind of sporadic and all over the place, but these are just the little significant things that have happened in my little world. I wanted to share my anticlimactic highs and lows. The end :)